Tales from the Orc Den

Winter Read Recs

• Monster Romance Reviews • Season 4 • Episode 3

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It is dark! The holidays are upon us! We have books to recommend getting through now and into the first blossoms of spring. 

Stuff we mention in the order we mention it is on our website here.

Music is called "Undead Bride" by Pagefire https://soundcloud.com/nerdymetalhead202/undead-bride 

EJ:

Welcome, dear readers. You are now entering the Orc Den.

Stacy:

Yeah, don't slip. We put up some signs. There's gonna spill. And don't even

Amy:

look at the floor. Don't look at the floor. Just

Stacy:

keep walking. And don't lick the floor. Ew.

EJ:

Come

Stacy:

on, we were

EJ:

all thinking it. Oh my god. So yeah, welcome to Tales from the Orc Den, everyone. This is another interesting one, cause we are We still are not yet committing to a singular author slash book yet for this recording. We keep on talking about, on our little Discord chat, all these interesting Like myriad of books, and it is getting to be cold and holiday y and icy and stuff. So today, we are going to be talking about our book recommendations for winter and the holidays. Yay! Mostly, of course, focusing on monster romance, but we are prolific readers, period. We will be throwing in some sprinklings of related genres, a little bit, different. We'll see where we go. We'll see where we go.

Stacy:

We're we're we're an all inclusive. We prefer our smut, and we prefer to be pounded by monsters, but, sometimes I dabble in other genres. For sure.

Amy:

They have variety. It's the spice of life,

EJ:

Absolutely. We have to find something to recommend to other people on occasion. I asked y'all to get books that are both winter and holiday because that is this season. It's a combination of if you've got something that's just cold. This is a great time of year for it because everything is cold and like where I'm at, it's already dark by five and I hate it.

Stacy:

It's dark here by the sun is almost down by. Or 30 here. Oh, like I'm having to

EJ:

turn on my lamp, like three or four in the afternoon.

Stacy:

I'm like, yeah, that doesn't fall here right now. It crashes.

EJ:

And of course we can't ignore the fact that there's a lot of frickin holidays happening all at once.

Stacy:

Regardless of your personal belief system, or

EJ:

At the very least New Year's is here, and if you're in America, you cannot escape Christmas. You cannot. It is here.

Stacy:

That's fine. I don't want to escape Christmas, so I'm okay. That pisses me off.

EJ:

Nothing is sacred these days. No.

Stacy:

I love Christmas. I love Christmas. But let me have my fucking spookity first.

Amy:

Yes, please. I'd rather your monster niche go by, play as I go by rather than that. At least before Halloween.

Stacy:

And on Halloween. There's a podcast I really love called That Spooky Night. And they are a couple, they're a gay couple in Canada, and in Canada they do Thanksgiving in October, so November for them is just wide open. And so Johnny and Tyler do what they call hygge Halloween, and it's, so it's hygge, the, the Danish word meaning or Scandinavian, I don't know if it's specifically Danish, but it means like cozy. Yeah. And so I, that's how I think of October, or November, it's like a Halloween until Thanksgiving, and then after Thanksgiving, it can be Christmas. Yeah.

EJ:

I

Amy:

like that. Remember, the funny thing about December, Krampusnacht falls at the beginning of December. That's

Stacy:

true. So Yeah, it does. I keep hoping he'll turn up and spank me, but so far, no soap. Ah.

Amy:

Stacy, you're not

Stacy:

being bad enough. Or I'm getting away with it, one or the other.

EJ:

We will definitely be talking about Krampus at some point with this. Because this is how I'm viewing the discussion. First up, wintry, like just cold weather stuff. We'll start off with that. Then we'll get into the holiday spirit. I and we'll go from there. So 1st, I want to ask you to about your just cold weather read recommendations, not holiday. Just it's cold.

Stacy:

I would think the 1st thing that comes to mind for me is the book I mentioned earlier, which is ghost story by Peter Straub. And it's it's horror basically, and it's really good. It's. It's set in New England, it's set in, or not quite New England, I think it's technically it's set in New York, but not New York, like it's upstate New York. And it's essentially a ghost meets like a, I think it's technically supposed to be like a puka or a changeling. And a huge chunk of the book. Is the town gets cut off because of the weather is basically under the control of this being and they're just getting hammered and hammered and hammered and hammered with snow. And by this point in time supply lines have fallen apart. Nobody can get in to offer assistance. There's only like 1 snowplow in town and he's drunk. They are snowplow operator town and he's drunk and. Part of the frightening. So the basic premise, and this is a really unusual premise too I really have to give this to Peter, is, so first of all, you have to like, roll with it. He wrote this in like 1975, I think. So obviously there's no cell phones or anything like that in, in this book. But the main characters of the book are a group of old men who have a club that they call that one of their wives, like disparagingly, refer to them as the chowder society. And the rule was that the, I think originally there were five or six of them and by the time the book is going on, I think there's four, but they would get dressed up in their tuxedos on Saturday night and would get together and started telling each other ghost stories. And most of their ghost stories, because they're supposed to be true stories, and so most of their ghost stories are of like horrible things that they were like witnessed or were party to. At different, junctures in their lives, basically. And it sounds

EJ:

like some sort of trauma support group. Yeah.

Stacy:

For fancy men. It honestly is. Because each one of them, first of all, they're haunted by something that happened to them all when they were like 20. And so there were, there's like a group secret there, in a, I know what you did last summer kind of vibe. And then, after that event happened. Which also ties into this being that has cut everybody off, uh, in the town, then what ends up happening is uh, these ghosts from these stories that these men have told start appearing in the town and picking off people one by one. Where's the coziness to this? I didn't say it was cozy. It's completely horror is what she said. That's right. it's a really good read, but there's one section that's really terrifying towards the climax and I'm not going to spoil anything, but. They end up going into this house, and it's this thing where by this point in time the snow is like way steep, so no one's driving anywhere, and they trudge into this house that they think is like the epicenter of this entire experience. And there's one young man in the group, Don Haggerty, who's the nephew of one of the previous members who has died at the beginning of the book. That's how he ends up coming to town, and he comes back for his uncle's funeral. And he steps into the house, like the house is freezing. They're literally like, we have to do this fast because we are literally gonna freeze to death. Like it's 10 below. And he steps inside and all of a sudden he's in New York City, and it's 95 degrees outside. Like he can feel the heat like cooking up off of the asphalt. And he's supposed to have met his brother who was also a victim of this entity. And at a, like she. Restaurant on Broadway or something like that, but the way that it's written is it's so convincing that he genuinely does not know if he's in this freezing house and this is some kind of like mind fuck that the entity is doing or if as his brother is saying He had a nervous breakdown and he's just gotten out of essentially a rehabilitation home to reintroduce him to society. And so it's, it's really terrifying. It's a really good book because it's one of those things where it's, you literally this can be anywhere and be anything. And like even children like that's the life cycle of this entity. Like it's a really great read because it's one of those, it's a super long book. Like it's. It's probably seven, 800 pages long and, but it's one of those things where it's like you, you go to read it and you settle in because you know that you're going to be absorbed into something. You know what I mean? Like it's the same thing with like classic Stephen King, which explains why Stephen King read this. But like when you go to read it, you're getting this like chunky filling meal of a book and a ghost story is the same way.

EJ:

Okay. Nice. So ghost story. Yeah, I'm gonna have to write that down.

Stacy:

They made a movie of it, too, in 1980

EJ:

or something like that. Yeah, I could totally see that as a really creepy miniseries.

Stacy:

I wish they would do something like that now. It's a forgotten classic unless you're a horror fan. One thing that's real weird and interesting about it, though, is it was the last movie for a lot of actors because the men are quite elderly in the story. It was Fred Astaire's last movie. It was one of Melvin Douglas last movies. And the funny part though, is that, so the book came out a good five years before the movie came out, and there were all of these weird connections to the actors who ended up playing them. Like it's a real trip to read the book and then watch the movie and then see the actors that were referenced doing something as the character that referenced. There's there's one point there's a character named Ricky and Ricky is this very like, Natty, like clothed horse of a man. And I want to say they say something like he was like a, he was like if Fred Astaire was a clothed horse or something like that. And then Fred Astaire ended up playing in the movie. It's all of these weird. Yeah. Trippy, and like Melvin Douglas gets referenced and stuff too it's weird and fun to go through and suss out the sort of accidental easter eggs that ended up happening.

EJ:

My goodness, that's, that actually sounds like a book and movie nerds like combined, like treasure trove.

Stacy:

Totally, oh yeah, totally.

Yeah,

Amy:

All right, so I've got my first one, and it is completely on the other end of the spectrum from

Stacy:

Stacey's. Yeah. That's fair. Not many people expected me to rock up with a hardcore horror in a romance podcast. I appreciate,

EJ:

You never know. You think you know what you're going to get with this podcast, but oh, no. No, you don't.

Stacy:

And I've actually got a couple of other weird ones to pull out of my hat. So I've got a few.

Amy:

The first one I wanted to talk about actually came out this year. Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Fairies by Heather Fawcett. And y'all have heard of dark academia. Yes.

Stacy:

Yes. Yeah.

Amy:

Welcome to Light Academia, which is pretty much what Emily Wilde's books are. Even though the U. S. cover would definitely belie that, considering it went with a darker cover. But this, the story inside is so much lighter than what you have in Dark Academia. So I'm like, I'm sorry, it's, I got the the edition because I'm like, it's just, it's too cute. And I loved it so much.

Stacy:

That's adorable. It looks like a little it looks like a little Yeah. Herbalism.

EJ:

Yeah, it's got like the little mushrooms. Yeah, that's really pretty. Where does the wintery thing come in? So

Amy:

basically Emily Wild is a researcher of fairies. Based in Oxford, I believe. And she's one of the foremost experts on the subject of fairies, and she has been putting together this encyclopedia of different fairies, and it's funny though, because looking, reading through the book, it's written like a journal, but a narrative

Stacy:

kind of journal. Yeah. Would you qualify it as like an epistolary? Like Dracula, where it's told in letters? Kinda, I was thinking of like the Dear

EJ:

America Series.

Amy:

Yeah. I think it's more Dear America because it's not really letters, it's actual

Stacy:

journals that she I don't think it has to, I don't think it specifically has to be letters to be, I'm sorry. I've read the word more than I've said it. It's EPIs. Epistolary. Okay. Thank you. I keep wonder emphasis. I'm trying to put emphasis on the wrong salable. It's all

EJ:

good. I can't judge. When I first read The Subtle Knife, I kept on referring it with my full chest. The soup teal knife. So

Stacy:

I thought bodice was pronounced bodice. So don't go. Yeah. I got real mad at a an Abbott and Costello movie because he kept saying odds bodice. And I'm like, it's pronounced bodice.

EJ:

Thank you

Stacy:

very much. Oh

EJ:

goodness. We are native English speakers.

Stacy:

We are certainly that and we hate the language. Nothing like being an autodidact.

Amy:

Biggest pain in the birdie that you ever had. But anyways so she's actually heard information. She's received information about the hidden ones. In a part of Scandinavia called Grafensvik. Okay. I'm probably butchering that sentence, or that, that city, or township, whatever. And it is freezing ass cold there, especially in the place where the farmhouse that she's staying at. Okay. And yeah, you get that sense of cold all around because, yes, it's in Scandinavia, where it snows most of the year anyway, so it's crazy. Where the romance comes in is, sorry romance, she has a rival Wendell Bambleby

Stacy:

whom she absolutely loathes. Oh that's a great fucking name. And obviously. Wendell Bambleby, that's just hard to say.

Amy:

There is more to Mr. Bambleby than you would expect. I don't know if I should spoil it or anything, but yes, he, let's just say he's not human.

Stacy:

Ah gotcha.

Amy:

But he is fast, he's utterly fascinated with N, whom he calls, that's what he calls Emily. It's like N. Huh. And it's just basically about them experiencing exploring that area, but then also having to deal with the Hidden Ones because apparently there was a king of the Hidden Ones there and he was buried or locked or whatever you want to call it he was, bound in this one area and somehow, of course, because of Emily's research and curious mind. She manages to unbind him or break his, break the bonds on him or whatever. And of course, what does this king do? He wants to actually

Stacy:

marry her. You got two members of the Fae who are fascinated with you, which practically sounds scarier than them being mad at you.

Amy:

Actually, that was one of the quotes I wrote in here. How was it that I suddenly had fairy kings, plural, demanding to marry me?

Stacy:

The scary thing though,

Amy:

I'm going to tell you guys, and forewarn other people, there is some, a little bit of dismemberment. bEcause the king under the mountain or whatever the hell you want to call him, I don't remember. The winter king, he manages to put some sort of binding onto her ring finger. And so the only way to avoid it, because it kept on Oh shit, you

Stacy:

mean she keeps, she gets a little named. Yes. Oh. Oh shit. Yes. That reminds me of, what was that story? I haven't read it since I was a little kid, but It was like, there were like, there were, it was like 15 thieves who were brothers, and then they had a little sister, and she had to rescue them, and they were trapped, and the only way she could open it was she had to use her finger bone and turn it into a key, and she had to cut off her finger to do it. I didn't remember this story, but I don't remember what it was called. All I can remember is that part where she had to cut off her finger to turn her finger bone into a key.

Amy:

Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with keys here. It was basically, that kept on pulling her towards where the Winter King was, and she's I don't want to go over there. So the only way she could do it was by

EJ:

Taking matters into her own hands, rather

Stacy:

literally off of her case. Yeah. Yes,

Amy:

we have Emily of the nine. Of the nine fingers.

Stacy:

That sounds, this sounds really interesting. Yeah, I recommend it. It really

Amy:

does. It's, it was a great read. I enjoyed it a lot. I love the format. I really do I wish I could find more epistolary novels because I love communication through letters. I love stories written through letters. If you're wanting to talk, not necessarily parodies, but inspirations, I do have a recommendation.

EJ:

Go on. All right

Amy:

we have I

Stacy:

like how you said, go on. We

Amy:

have Winter Song by S. J. Jones, which is heavily inspired by Labyrinth.

Stacy:

Oh, cool.

Amy:

Cool. And also Goblin Market, OBS. Basically you have two sisters, along with a little brother Liesel and her younger sister, I don't remember her name, she don't matter. But anyways Liesel has heard about the dangerous and beautiful Goblin King, and they've just, It's completely enraptured her mind and spirit and inspired her musical composition because she is a musician, as is her little brother. And her sister is taken by the Goblin King.

Stacy:

I think I've heard of this, actually. You probably have.

Amy:

I do

Stacy:

not recommend Does she play the violin? Yes. Okay. Yes.

Amy:

Don't

EJ:

read the second one. Oh, really? Is it bad? From what a person,

Amy:

a friend who has read both said, she's I wish I had just stopped with book one because book one ends on a very good note and book two seems to undo a lot of what was

Stacy:

done in book one. Oh, I hate that. Yeah.

Amy:

But basically the idea is that it's, it takes place in the wintertime and in the Goblin King's world, it is mostly winter and it's basically about him slowly wooing Liesel and her trying to, break free of the kingdom because she doesn't want to stay there forever. And of course there's also implications that her brother might be a changeling.

EJ:

Interesting. Oh sure, oh trippy. But,

Amy:

S. J. Jones actually wrote some additional pages that were definitely not meant for the YA market, by the way. This is technically YA. Totally. She is 18. But yeah, it does lean into the new adult stuff. So I don't know how you'd feel about

Stacy:

that, Stacey. It's a good story. Yeah, young, or new adult is not my It's

Amy:

a good story because you don't go into the sex as much in it, but yes, she and the Goblin King do engage.

Stacy:

They smash.

Amy:

Yes, they definitely do smash. They bump bump, apologize. You don't see it, you don't see it though. But, I do recommend it. But like I said don't read the second book, Shadow Song, no. I wonder if even Jay Jones regrets writing that one, but I don't know. Cause it seemed as though she was having a hard time writing

EJ:

that one. Writing it like, Maybe she forced it when it shouldn't have been forced. Maybe she forced it when it shouldn't have been forced. Like, when it comes to like spicy stuff, new adult seems like a very tricky sort of territory for me. Cause on one hand, they're adults, but they're not, they're, again, they're new adults. Yeah.

Stacy:

My other issue too is that I hate to be a bitch. That's not true, I love being a bitch. But new adults are boring. Yeah. Fair enough. They think they've got it all figured out, but really they're just eating massive neuroses because their brain hasn't stopped cooking yet. Oh. And.

EJ:

Sorry, I just thought, that reminds me, Stacey, Amy and I had talked about, Amy had reminded me of a book recommendation that is monster romance and is not new adult. Quite the opposite, it's mature romance. It's called Mantras and Minotaur er,

Stacy:

Minotaurs and Mantras? Yeah! I read it! Mantras and Minotaurs. Yeah. It's the it's super duper fucking cute. It's the mom of the two from the first two in the series.

EJ:

Yes so the, yes, by Ashley Bennett,

Stacy:

the Muscles and Leviathan Fitness

EJ:

Series. There we go, thank

Stacy:

you. The minotaur is the father of Chai, the minotaur who works at the the gym.

EJ:

Super cute. All of

Stacy:

it is just adorable. It is! There's I don't, I have zero interest in weed, and it's not a I don't give a shit if you blaze up all damn day. But As long as nobody's getting hurt, but it's just not my, it's not my bag. Yeah. But there is a scene where he, cause his he owns a weed like empire in Colorado. And there is a fucking adorable scene where he gets her to eat a weed gummy for the first time. And they just are, they just get stoned and listen to like records. And it's just like the cutest thing. Like her glassy eyed and both of their eyes are bloodshot and they're giggling listening to Led Zeppelin. Like it is so fucking cute. Yes.

Amy:

I absolutely love it. Honestly I'm looking forward to Ashley Bennett rounding out the series because I think Griffins and Gaines is supposed to be the last one. Yeah.

Stacy:

So she's gonna leave the genre?

EJ:

Probably not the whole genre. She's just going to finish up that series, I think. Yeah.

Stacy:

Yeah. I didn't mean the genre. I meant the series. Yeah. Yeah.

EJ:

SO I'm right there with you, Amy. And of course, like you've got the whole wintery scenes and they're stuck in the cabin and it's flippin

Amy:

adorable. Cause they're in Colorado. Cause they're in

EJ:

Colorado!

Stacy:

Yeah. Yeah. She goes to visit them. And they

EJ:

have outdoor sex and it's fun.

Stacy:

They do, it's hot. Yeah. It has to be when it's cold. It's specifically not. At Christmas, though, because I want to say they spent Valentine's Day together.

Amy:

Yeah. Yeah, but he was in town to help take care of Chai after her surgery. Yeah, that's how they met. So I think he came for Christmas, but they have since

Stacy:

progressed into the new year. Yeah. Yeah.

Amy:

Okay, so this is a weird one. And. I think it goes with Winter end holiday, but also mostly comfort and coziness. It's also funny because Stacey was talking about the weed gummy.

EJ:

Oh, huh.

Amy:

But Berries and Greed by Lily Main was It's adorable. Because you've got a monster who is, I don't know how you would want to describe them. They're like, They come from the underworld of Earth, and they have joined the surface because I think there's just, there's not a lot of room down there or whatnot, and so they've joined in with this sort of peace with humans, just, living their everyday life, which is why I was saying it's mostly a cozy read, because there's no real, there's no real stakes there. Beryl, who is the human. Here, has grown up on a, in a sex cult that, compound, that pretty much

Stacy:

worships the demons as, oh my. Yeah,

Amy:

pretty much. Oh. They want, the idea of most of the members of this cult is basically they want to become, fuck buddies of

Stacy:

the like concubines. Yeah, something like that.

Amy:

And Beryl's oh hell no, I don't want that. I just don't want to deal with people. Her aunt actually works on the compound. She is not a believer, but she needed work. She needed to be able to take care of stuff, and her poor niece was abandoned by her father, and all this other fun stuff, and yeah, Greed, he comes to the compound looking for a roommate because he's lonely. But He's also a stoner because he likes I forget what the heck it's called. Sage? I don't remember. Basically there's a type of smokable drug that he, regularly partakes in. It does

Stacy:

What, like sal like salvia? I'm not sure. Is this something that's a drug to humans, or is this something just to his species? His people, yeah.

Amy:

Oh, okay, gotcha, gotcha. It's something relevant to his people. It's not ours. I just forget what the hell it's called because it's been a while since I've read it. And trust me, when I get the paper back, I'm going to be rereading it because I enjoyed it so much. It's actually my first Lily Maine book. Probably going to be one of the few because she tends to write outside my wheelhouse, which is fine. But I know that a lot of people love her other works. Honestly, if you're wanting to dip into Lily Maine's work, and you haven't been interested in reading previous stuff, go for Berries and Greed, because you've got a very, you've got a very adorable, it is rather long though, but you have an adorable Maine male character, who's also a sub.

Stacy:

Yeah, I remember that was a, like a thing like a, I saw some fan art for it with,

Amy:

I need to see this fan art, but

Stacy:

I think it was somebody I follow on Instagram.

Amy:

The other thing is Beryl actually suffers from vagin vaginismus?

Stacy:

Oh, vaginosis? Vag

Amy:

vaginimus. Basically, it's where she cannot have vaginal sex, because

Stacy:

it hurts. Oh.

EJ:

Yeah.

Stacy:

Is it like the infantitis of the Vagina, like everything's too small?

Amy:

That I don't know for sure. I don't think, I don't think Those are just uncomfortable for her. Yeah, it's very uncomfortable and painful for her. She can't have penetrative sex. But she can have sex in other ways obviously, just without penetration. And Reed's okay with that. The book does end with a family holiday gathering with his family. Because he's like one of seven siblings, I think. And I know Lily Nane is going to be going into another sibling's book in that world, too and then I think at least two more siblings one non binary and one who is who is gay, but I'm looking forward to reading

Stacy:

with you. No, that sounds awesome.

Amy:

It is, it has been wonderful, and I'm like, I didn't mind the length. It's over 500 pages, but it was just so much fun watching their dynamic change from, I don't know why you want me! And I'm like, he's I just need a roommate. I don't need anything from you. Basically going From roommates to friends to then, couple. It's a great, I really, I just, I love the coziness of it. And honestly, I cannot recommend it enough. I just, that was one of my favorite reads of August, guys. It also helped cool me down when, we were in those triple digits for

Stacy:

a while there.

Amy:

Yes, highly recommend Berries and Greed.

Stacy:

No, I love it. I think

EJ:

that's great. Let's see here in the interest of time, shall we move on to some holiday recommendations?

Amy:

Because, man, I got so many. I'm just I got stuff.

Stacy:

1 of, for some reason

EJ:

last year, I got really into IHRSA DAXs.

Stacy:

Stuff. She's got two

EJ:

sci fi. I'm going to start with my sci

Stacy:

fi Christmas stuff because this is a whole thing. So Ursa Dax,

Amy:

she's got a

EJ:

duet I called Alien Orc for

Stacy:

Christmas and a previous

Amy:

one called Chimera for Christmas. So you

EJ:

want to read Chimera for Christmas by Ursa Dax followed by Alien Orc for Christmas by Ursa Dax, and they both take place on this spaceship. Anyone who's read I'm thinking off the top of my head a Ruby Dixon

Amy:

like

EJ:

world, this is going to be very familiar, where you've got this gigantic space station with a whole hierarchy of people, only in this case, unlike Ruby Dixon's world this particular world doesn't just enslave humans and treat them like cattle except under very specific circumstances. Man, that is the dark part about Ruby Dixon's Ice Queen and Herbarian's world.

Stacy:

But anyway, in this particular It's not a friendly galaxy.

EJ:

Yeah, Ursodex has going on. It's a city space station. Zora reminds me of somewhere between a town and a mall, actually, because of everything being set up in these cute little kiosks. And everything is under this uh, Everything is workplace romance related in some way. Some in the first novella

Stacy:

I think I read Alien Org for Christmas.

EJ:

Okay, yeah. Alien Org for Christmas, that's like an entrepreneur couple. He owns a pub, she owns yes. I think it's a bakery. In the previous one, it's a little coffee shop and they're coworkers. I have seen these. I've definitely seen these. Yes, in both cases, they are super adorable. And if you like if you want something that is both sci fi and also really fucking cute without, with minimal outer world angst going on, this is it. Now, if you wanted a little bit of Outer World angst, Ruby Dixon is here for you, because she has a When She's, Mary,

Stacy:

which is adorable. And there's also the Ice Planet Barbarians holiday.

EJ:

So yeah, so she Barbarian Before Christmas, I think. Yeah, Barbarian Before Christmas, where you've got the No Poison Day, which is a hilarious miscommunication where someone had tried to explain

Stacy:

Mistletoe, yeah.

EJ:

To the aliens, and they misconstrued it to where like they fixated on how people kiss under these poisonous berries.

Stacy:

And then it was like, but you don't poison them. Yeah. Do you make them eat it? No, it's poison. So you celebrate that they're not poisoning you. Sure.

EJ:

And so they just go with it. So that's why you have the whole no poison day. Yes. But yeah, it, in, so there's the ice plant barbarian stuff when she's married, very adorable, surface level, very cute. Of course you've got odd. You've got more serious stuff because you do have there is this situation where the female main character's neighbor has severe depression because she was stolen from Earth and has a very traumatic

Stacy:

past. Yeah, it's not even just depression. It's like she's so hyper alert. It's a major trauma that she's working through, but

EJ:

it's very sweet because this older woman who has is dealing with her trauma and not doing a good job of it. Yeah, she ends up allowing herself to be distracted by this nosy, very

Stacy:

cheerful neighbor of hers.

EJ:

Who's got this young man, this young alien man who's clearly smitten over her. And yeah, she absolutely he is. He is absolutely into her. It's insta love on his part. And

Stacy:

it's very, I fucking love. I love how the, or who you are. I guess in this case, Misaka. Yeah. Men fall so hard for their humans. And it's just, and also the shit, what's the cat species? Oh, yeah. I can almost see it. Proxian. Praxian.

EJ:

Yeah, so the Praxians are also on that planet. In this particular story, there is a cute animal sidekick. It's like a squirrel cat thing.

Stacy:

Yes, that's right. She's trying to make him a scarf or a sweater or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

EJ:

And I, I read that. I'm like, that would be me. I would try to tame the squirrel cat thing.

Stacy:

Absolutely. That was one of the things I thought was adorable. And one of the It was the first one of the, when she's at her, which was when she's ready. Oh, when it's the Hawaiian chick Leilani and there's a bit where she keeps trying to, to. The friend the birds. So she's trying to feed them, but she's way too eager and always ends up scaring them away. She tells I can't remember his name, but she tells him basically she wants to be like a Disney princess and talk to the birds. And he's I don't know what a Disney is and I don't know what a princess is, but so I think you're killing it. It was super cute.

EJ:

That is adorable. And I, yeah, so I'm over here Amy, you should read Ruby Dixon with us. Come join us, Amy. Absolutely.

Stacy:

I haven't read Ruby Dixon. I

Amy:

just haven't read those.

EJ:

Oh,

Stacy:

okay. Fair enough. Yeah, she's read The Aspect of Anchors. Okay. And I think you're a bad guy, haven't you? I need to catch up

Amy:

on there, but Okay. I have read

Stacy:

Bad Guy. There we go. Yeah, I thought you said you do. But that's all on RISDA 3, it's that's the only part that I've read there. That's the same setting as

Amy:

I'm not ready for the, I'm not ready for that yet.

Stacy:

If you want me

Amy:

to read S. J. Sanders backlog, which one? Both. You gotta pick one. Only one. No. No. And I'm only gonna pick S. J. Sanders.

Stacy:

Both. Both. I think Vektal, the first of the Ice Planet Barbarians that you meet, is such a goddam giant. Lump of adorable boy scout that I just can't fucking handle it. I am a big, everybody's GE and Vechile are boring. And I'm like, shut your Hormel.

EJ:

You know what I credit that first IPV book with what I lovingly refer to as the vetol meet. Cute. And I don't. Yep. And I'm not the only one everyone knows, like absolutely. When you read that book and you're like, it's a veal meet, cute. They're, they know's. Meet cute. They know. Damn. It's. So those are my sci fi ones. I also have more fantasy. I need to bring one particular book up because I know that this will this will this will arise such a clatter for you too,

Stacy:

which talk about

EJ:

the Krampus, there arose such a clatter, tales

Stacy:

from the Krampus. Yeah,

EJ:

the one that I can't read. So I enjoyed it. And it is, but also, it's dark as fuck. It's,

Stacy:

but it's dark, but in a, it's, it's a gleefully cheerful maniacally cheerful it's dark the way Gremlins is dark. I got the the box that year, the box for the rest of the clatter and you actually got, there's the scene at the end where she's orange cranberry tea because that's what he smells like. And you actually got a little of orange cranberry tea.

EJ:

Oh my goodness. I love those little details. That's one of the fun things. When you're an author, and you can do your own stuff, including send your own fucking Her book

Stacy:

box. These are fucking amazing. Yeah. I've gotten a bunch of them as they've been released. I got one from Morning Glory Milking Farms. I got the Krampus one. I got Girls, or no, parties, but I haven't read it yet because I've heard it ends on a cliffhanger, so I'm gonna wait until the third one comes out. Hold off

Amy:

on what I've heard too, Stacey, but suppose the Invitations is coming out

Stacy:

next year. Supposedly. Yeah, but she's got so much in the works that it'll show up when it shows up and that is a okay. anD the thing that I love about it too is, oh and I have the How to Marry a Marble Marquee. I need to get that one. And that one was really cool too because it actually came with a tin of uh, ratapia mix and apparently it's like different spices and dried fruits that you boil in wine. Okay. And make a spicy wine drink. And I want to, it's like you boil it and then you leave it in the fridge for a month or something like that and I really want to try making that like maybe in time for Christmas because I have a huge jug of like cheap red sangria. It was supposed to be a Christmas present for somebody and it never happened and it's just like I'm never going to fucking drink this. But if I turn it into retapia, but I love it too, cause you get pins and the pins always go on the jean jacket of questionable taste. So I have a Krampus pin. I have a naked marble marquee pin. I've got a plundered pixie pin.

EJ:

I appreciate that. Thank you.

Stacy:

I do too. Let's see. I love that fucking jacket. You enjoy it, Stacey. I will,

EJ:

but yeah, I know yeah, there are, to me, like the collection there arose such a clatter Tales from the Naughty list. By csta. Big

Stacy:

recommendation, I think. I think there's suppo, there was supposed to be a sequel this year, but I think it got shelved for a little while. She had too much going on, and that's again totally okay. Oh

EJ:

Yeah. You roll with the punches

Stacy:

we support a writer writing in the. The time that they, well, and just like at a timeline that's realistic for them, not realistic necessarily for readers.

EJ:

Yeah. Yeah.

Amy:

Honestly, readers should be reading other stuff along with their favorite authors. They should have more than one favorite author. Absolutely.

Stacy:

I agree

EJ:

we, we are spoiled for riches over here oh man, I just, I can't believe I almost forgot this, speaking of like fantasy another Christmassy, it's Yule, would be Yuled by the

Stacy:

Orcs. We're gonna talk about it, we gotta talk about it.

EJ:

We have a whole freaking podcast episode about it. Of course I think it's really notable in many, for many of us, many Finley fans, it already came out last year, but this

Stacy:

year she's re

EJ:

releasing it.

Stacy:

To the public. It sounds like maybe there's going to be a new, another epilogue, too. A new epilogue. Quite possibly. She's

Amy:

going to try. She's going to try. We're not going to pressure her. No, not at all. We're just going to pray that she has the creative energy to give us a wonderful epilogue featuring our favorite one of our favorite throuples that are on the older side. Yes. Because she's confirmed that Trigg is, he's definitely in his fifties, and Azog and yeah.

EJ:

He'd have to

Stacy:

be. Trigger is like in his 20s. So

EJ:

yeah. Yeah. Unless he was like the product of some sort of teen pregnancy, which is a different topic.

Stacy:

Yeah, entirely. I'm sure there's many who can probably lay that at a uh,

EJ:

their parents. We're not going to go there. No. But I love it actually. Yeah. When I think of so with Finley Fenn and also Ashley Bennett, I'm like, okay, I've got like this cute little like duo of favorite books that are like older couple winter. Don't know what it is about that, but I'm like, that is a good combo is cozy.

Stacy:

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's because the fun thing is. A, it's just fun to read about people who are now closer to you in age than maybe they were when you started reading. You know what I mean? Because I, I started reading my mother's Bodice Rippers when I was like 10. And I can remember reading some of her books that Like, she had one, I can't remember what it was called, but it was a set during the War of the Roses in England, and the main character, Isabelle, was 14 when she got married, which is historically accurate but she gets married to a 27 year old or something like that, and there's like graphic sex, there's a Rebecca Brandewin book, and at the time I remember reading that and being like, oh, that's what it's going to be like when I'm 14, and now I'm 46, and I'm like, Oh, Jesus! I don't want to read about either of you! So as you start to age it's nice to, feel represented. And it's also if you're not to the same, age as I am, it's also nice when you're younger to be reassured that it's okay to feel sexy when you're older. You're allowed. Oh my goodness. It's not like your libido dries up and blows away on your 32nd birthday.

EJ:

Wait I, because I was in my early 20s and oh my gosh. Am I now old and is my life ending? I want to hug slap my younger self, just like I want to hug slap other young folks who are going through the exact same thing, because one, it makes sense. It absolutely makes sense.

Stacy:

Because we are like, it's the. Youth worship. Oh, yeah. Our

EJ:

society has given you an expiration date and you are coming to it and you're like, what good am I? Oh, poor sweet babes. It is but the beginning. You're doing great,

Stacy:

all of you. Yeah, it doesn't matter how old you are. It's but, it is but the beginning. That's a great thing, man. As long as you've got a pulse, you can always start over. You have

Amy:

to take into account several things. One, you're not able to vote until you're 18. A lot of people aren't able to drive until that age either. And you're not even able to drink until

EJ:

you're 21. In the U. S. anyway. And also in the U. S., they don't allow you to rent a car until you're 25.

Stacy:

Yeah. That's what Yeah. I don't know because it's not so much the car company. It's not the car rental company. It's the insurance company. They won't insure drivers that young. But you're right

Amy:

though. So many young people are like, Oh God, it's I'm going to be 30 next year. I'm like, Oh, 30 is just another, it's just another wonderful decade of

Stacy:

life experience. Much

EJ:

better than my 20s. I'm fully in the middle of my

Stacy:

30s. mY 20s were fuckin miserable, but I still remember on my 30th birthday having this moment where it's like, Oh god, I'm not in my 20s anymore, like What does that what does that mean for me? I'm not married, I'm never gonna get married, like that sort of pressure of you've reached 30. And then people start saying shit like, did you know that you're more likely to get hit by lightning than get married past blah, whatever arbitrary number that

EJ:

they make up that year. Oh my goodness. I feel very comfortable saying this as someone who is happily married. Don't fucking worry about not being married. Seriously,

Stacy:

yes. And I'm saying this as somebody who's happily single. Don't fucking worry. Yeah. Anytime somebody's I can't imagine being single, I'm just like, yeah, it's so hard doing whatever I want, whenever I want.

EJ:

It is a pity.

Stacy:

I cry myself to sleep eating whatever delicious thing I wanted to make for me for dinner.

EJ:

Oh, yeah. We

Amy:

have three different representatives here. We've got Stacy, who is single and fabulous. We've got EJ who is married with child and fabulous. And we've got me who is married and child free and fabulous.

EJ:

Hell yes. We're

Amy:

all happy and awesome women. Doesn't matter what we're doing in life, we're all doing what women

EJ:

do.

Stacy:

You're doing great. We're talking about orc dicks, for example. Yes, which is a fabulous thing. It's a good life. Listen, you fire hose dicks, monsters, get in my bed. Right now.

EJ:

Oh, my goodness. Actually, that reminds me. So I love telling my husband about things like, okay, we do have to talk about monster Puckers because like you'll buy the orcs. That is also a that's being

Stacy:

released. Yeah, it's Krampus, right? Yeah, and it's Krampus. Yeah, it's, so

EJ:

yeah, there is a Krampus, there's a Yeti. It's an MMF, so you've got that magical unicorn that is about as likely as a Krampus or a Yeti, and that is two bisexual men who want a female third. And the female third,

Stacy:

She is a sports reporter.

EJ:

For hockey. So it's a hockey romance. The Yeti and the Krampus, they are teammates and they're secret mates. So no one knows about yet and she gets caught in the locker room because she's trying to get the scoop on their team. She gets stuck in a locker and then sees them going at it and they smell her. Because she gets aroused and oh, that's hot. And then they're like, I know. And then they ask her out on a date. And she's also, she's a plus sized female man character, those who might be interested in that. Love, love seeing that. I have loved seeing Conki, a fan art for this book because she's got the proper belly rolls in everything. It's just proper, like fat, proper fellow fat girl. I love it.

Stacy:

I was another fat girl. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

EJ:

There is hot scene upon hot scene. Of course, all of it is it's threesome

Stacy:

stuff. we probably shouldn't go too much into it, because I don't think it's even technically been released yet. It has only just been released. It was released today. Oh, okay. It is officially it is in the layout. Okay.

EJ:

So we are recording in November when Monster Puckers has just been released. I only know because I got an ARC of all of this. No more spoilers but if you are into the MMF thing, and let's say if y'all liked Healed by the Orcs, if you're If you enjoy the MMO stuff that Finlay Fenn does, you will absolutely love this Ashley Bennett, Chloe Evans masterpiece. Very cute. Very fun. It was the sort of thing as I was reading it, I was like, this would be a great thing for me to read. Younger me would have really appreciated this in the middle of the holiday chaos and family crapola. I feel like I deal with less family crapola because now I have got my own little family and I don't know, it changed the dynamics a wee bit because I'm like, now I have part of your future. bUt when you're single, you're shuffled around because everyone's you're flexible. You can go wherever the hell we want you. That's my particular family. Your mileage may vary, but there were times where I would feel a little bit strung out during the holidays. This would have been a really nice novella for me.

Stacy:

Like a quiet, sneak off, do

EJ:

something for you kind of thing. Exactly. Exactly. You know

Amy:

where I would sneak off to is in the bathroom.

Stacy:

That's actually a great way to get out of an uncomfortable situation too.

EJ:

The food is super rich during the holidays. People don't ask questions. They just are like, use the potpourri or whatever, spray a little bit before you leave. And there we go. Poo pourri.

Stacy:

Poo pourri, yes.

EJ:

bUt yeah, so the I know I've got some others, but those are the ones that like are top of mind for me. I need

Amy:

to read more holiday monster romance stuff. I, it's not that I don't want to, it's just I don't think about it. I don't. I read so much stuff. Granted, you read whatever the hell you want year round, but yeah, some of the ones that I definitely, that are definitely on my list to hopefully read this cold season are Snowed In with an Alien Warlord by Nancy Cummings and Star

EJ:

Huntress. I would recommend it. Yeah.

Amy:

A Polar Expedition. I forget who the

Stacy:

author is. That's on your list. Yeah. It is hilarious and adorable and it makes use of footnotes in a way that I wish more authors did. Nice. Terry Pratchett leveled the footnotes. Oh yes.

EJ:

And then Matchsticks

Amy:

and A Mother's Night's Gift both by S. J. Sanders and of course Monster Pucker, which I've already checked out through Kindle Unlimited because obviously

Stacy:

I had to. Is Monster pucker specifically holiday or is it just winter? It's holiday.

EJ:

So at the very least, the epilogue is, so it starts at the beginning of winter. It, the epilogue is definitely Christmas. Gotcha. Okay. Because you get you get some cutesy gift giving scenes and, that's just, it's a perfect epilogue. So I think you, yeah, I would say it's primary winter, but there's enough. Intersection.

Stacy:

Yeah, there's enough vibe there that you could turn it in. You could absolutely put it on there. People who insist that Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

EJ:

Yeah, there we go. There we

Stacy:

go. And of course, rereading Jeweled by the Orcs.

EJ:

Of course. Cause that's a sweet one, and It

Stacy:

absolutely is. Azog is the OG

Amy:

cinnamon roll. Oh man, I love it. It's just wonderful. We do love Azog and his adorableness. I just want to give him all the hugs.

Stacy:

And the thing that's so cute about it is Sig Trigger is very much a Sky, but Azog and Lydia are both cinnamon rolls. It's just fucking adorable.

EJ:

Sky are good for a triad in Finley's world. They

Amy:

really are. They really are.

EJ:

Gotta love our Sky.

Stacy:

my holiday recommendations are matchsticks, definitely. One of the things I love about S. J. Sanders is that she is really good Uh, not necessarily, like, specifically thematically, but tonally, she's really good at tapping into that vibe of a ghost story for Christmas. None of her books, I, specifically, at least not her holiday books, I would specifically reference as a ghost story, but it's got that same it's Christmas, but it's spooky Christmas, and I fucking love it. I love

EJ:

that. I think that is, that's missing

Stacy:

in American culture. I agree. Matchsticks really taps into that. And and again, it's, A, okay, so A. Aquilos, I think, honestly, is one of her hottest heroes. hE's got the huge owl wings. And then he's got like the full beard and then the whore frost crown I'm just like, yes, all of this, please. Yes. anD Agatha is just such a great yeah, like I was a modern human and then society completely fucking crumbled and now nobody gives a shit about interior design. And so it was just but that is a big part of what makes it holidays. Agatha actually ends up decorating. Aquilos's castle or the Yule, basically, along with the lupi who are later mentioned in the Lupercalia. And yeah, it's just, it hits all of those notes for me where it's one of those things where it's it is literally, it will kill you outside. It's so cold, but inside it's it's warm and it's festive and it's bright and there's good things to eat and good things to drink. And there's giant roaring fireplaces and holiday decorations, and that kind of stuff. And then I'm, let's see. Another really good one is Snows of Attor, which is in the darville exploratory series. So it this one's sci-fi, not any paranormal catch. And that's one thing S. J. Sanders does so well is she develops these alien cultures, basically. And, gives you just enough that it's oh this is very compelling and interesting. But not so much that you're just like, alright, Nathaniel Hoffler, and wrap it up. And yeah, it's just a good read. And so it was cool. That's one thing that I really like about her is she'll touch on a lot of I I'm, I am no way, shape, or form in presuming Sanders's religious beliefs or lack thereof, but she doesn't have a super hard focus on Judeo Christian. Holidays. And I think that's, I have nothing against Judeo Christian holidays, but it's refreshing to see more pagan references and stuff like

EJ:

that. And really we're still so new in the monster romance world there is a lot of room to get way more

Stacy:

diverse and funky fun in the holiday world. Absolutely. And she's really good at that. That like with all of her Halloween books. It's like the same thing, but she's doing it for a winter holiday.

EJ:

I'm not Jewish, but I would be down for a Hanukkah.

Stacy:

Yeah, I know. We were talking about that before we started recording. I know Julie Cohen just released a Hanukkah sci fi romance that I'm planning on reading. That looks absolutely adorable.

EJ:

Yeah, an alien for Hanukkah. Now I'm over here. I want to see, like, how that all works. And because now you've got, you've also got the whole eight night thing with Hanukkah. It's not just like a one Christmas. So you can really build

Stacy:

things up one day and you're done. Yep.

EJ:

If Adam Sandler could make a really ridiculous cartoon about eight crazy nights you can do something some real, cool. For someone out there you can do a cool thing. If Adam

Stacy:

Sandler can do it, you sure as hell can. Considering how much of the entertainment world is made up of people of Jewish extraction, Jewish holiday beliefs are criminally underrepresented. It is quite amazing. And same thing with Kwanzaa. I know like a tiny bit about Kwanzaa, but most of that's what I learned from Gullah Island and fucking Blippi.

EJ:

Oh, yeah, we could do some Kwanzaa stuff. It's actually the whole thing is actually terribly wholesome. It's very community

Stacy:

oriented. Yeah, I know. It's it's a harvest festival. Yeah. Yeah. And it also deals with candles, too. Yeah,

Amy:

it does. Yeah. And it deals with, I believe, it's Kind in alignment sometimes with Hanukkah. I think

Stacy:

it's seven days, if I'm not mistaken. I don't think it's like several days and Yeah, I know Hanukkah doesn't have a set date and Kwanza might not

EJ:

either. Yeah. Qua Kwanza, I'm not generally, I wanna say Kwanza happens. Yeah. We're clearly Kwanza experts over here, so

Stacy:

please know.

EJ:

Okay, so there are set dates for Kwanzaa.

Stacy:

December 26th, January 1st. Okay, gotcha, gotcha.

EJ:

Thank you, Ms. Librarian.

Stacy:

You're welcome. Indeed. Information Hunter here. Yeah. Love it.

EJ:

Heaven knows yeah, Google exists, we have very few excuses.

Stacy:

But one more, really quick, one more, SJ Sanders, and this is actually cool because The first book she wrote was specifically a Halloween book, and then the second book she wrote was a Christmas one, and that's the Derwent Witches, and the second one is Witch Bells and Mistletoe, and that's another great sort of creepy Christmas, where the character has had this sort of thing with this dragon where they're dancing around each other, but neither one of us has pulled, or neither one of them has pulled the trigger and actually jumped the other. And she, so she goes to take a vacation for Yule, and he follows her. And while they're wherever the hell they are, she ends up in this, I want to say they're in Colorado, but don't quote me on it. Yeah, I want to say it's Colorado. She finds out that there's this really beautiful inn that she's staying at, and that the town is supported by the inn, and the guy who owns the inn currently, it turns out that the family two or three generations back had made an agreement with snow fairies, essentially. That is the reason for the prosperity of the inn, and he's not holding up his end of the bargain, and the fairies are pissed. Oh, don't piss off, Sarah. So if you want to read about some creepy fae Showing up to fuck up Christmas. That's a really good one. I have others if you want me to list them really fast.

Amy:

I have one, just one, so Stacey has Well, my one is actually a bunch. It's another anthology.

Stacy:

It's called

Amy:

Wolfsbane and Mistletoe, and it actually came out back in 2008. ANd it had several New York Times bestselling authors you've got Charlene Harris of the Sookie Stackhouse series, Patricia Briggs, which of course is Marisa Thompson, Carrie Arthur Carrie Vaughn, who did Kitty I forget what it is, but it's Kitty in the Howling Hour, Midnight Hour, something like that, but anyways there's various short stories in here that feature werewolves during the holiday season.

Stacy:

I'm not mad at it. No,

Amy:

of course. And some of them are more on the Horror side and others aren't so

Stacy:

much. I'm trying to remember. So they're not all romance is what you're saying? Some of them are just straight up horror? Correct.

Amy:

Some of them lean into the more horror aspect. But it's just, werewolves at Christmas time. Some of them could be romance. Some of them could not be.

Stacy:

I'm down for it. Werewolves are hot. I don't have a problem with this. If you

Amy:

want spooky stuff, you got it. If you want romantic stuff, you got it.

Stacy:

I would recommend, or do you have more to recommend, EJ? Yep. Nope. Go for it. Okay. Nancy Cummings, as has already been mentioned by Amy, has a couple of good, solid Christmas or Christmas adjacent, uh, stories. Snowden with the alien warlord doesn't really have a specifically, it's Christmas kind of vibe, but it does happen over Christmas, basically. Blackthorn, which just came out, which was book two. And I don't remember what she's calling it, but the first one is Wolfsbane, and it's it's sci fi, but it's sci fi with monsters, which is cool, where it's generations before human colonists ended up on this planet by accident and couldn't get back off the planet, and then some of them mutated. Due to the strange nature of what's called the nexus on the planet. She also has Alien's Challenge, which is more of a cold weather read than necessarily a Christmas read. But if you were ever curious to know what dragon cowboys look like, this is the book for you. Alien Warlord's Challenge, which is in the same series as the Snowden with the Alien Warlord, although this is a Sengren modfell instead of a Relusion modfell, so this isn't the red space orc Cole is in Snowden with the Alien Warlord. This is the big purple ones with the horns. And that one's really, I would say it is Christmas because the book starts with the holiday of Galal on Sangrin, which is essentially Christmas for them. It's a holiday of light. And so they do a cool thing where they do the lanterns with the candles. And the idea is that you make a wish at midnight on Galal and you release the lights up into the sky. So again, it's another one where she's come up with like really cool culture and stuff like that. And it's a longer one. But uh, compared to Snowden with the Alien Warlord, that was technically a novella, whereas I would say this one is probably more like a full length novel. But there's a lot of misunderstandings. He said, she said, marriage of convenience. They're really in love, but neither one of them will admit it. There's an incredibly precocious seven year old who's pretty funny. And then let's see what else she also has in her tall series, Pulled by the Tail is the second one, and it's my favorite in the series. And that one is Christmassy without being specifically a Christmas themed book, because So you have Georgia and Talon. Georgia is human, Talon is tall. Which is like a, he's a thundercat basically. And Georgia's from Southern California, when she ends up on Korra, cause it's the mail order bride thing, she sees Snow for the first time. So that's really cool. And then they, the holidays turn into this almost like a tentpole moments in their relationship. Because the first snowstorm is the first time that Georgia and Talon hook up and the, they start like a, as a he refers to hers as his mate and she's I'm not your mate. We're just banging. Then there's, they have a midwinter holiday that's just called midwinter and Georgia ends up getting contact dermatitis because the plants that they used to decorate for midwinter is, it turns out, related to juniper, which she's allergic to. And so she has this huge allergic reaction Talon takes her to the doctor and that's when they find out George is pregnant. And it's a really great really leans on the concept of found family kind of thing. But then the book has a really sweet epilogue. of them three years later, and it's Christmas Day. And Charles, their friend who has four arms, he's a guy, or he's gonna dress up like Santa. And so it's just this really sweet way that they show that they melded midwinter and Christmas, and it's just wholesome as fuck. And there's also some just really booty grinding fucking in it, which is just great. I'm down for it. And then, I think, uh, in terms of cold, but not specifically Christmas y, so this is, I'm gonna go off topic here, just slightly, this is not paranormal or sci fi. It's actually, of all things, a motorcycle club, but it's the only motorcycle club series that I read, because it's by Kate Z. Wells, and I think she could write a story about a billy goat fucking a can, and I would be like, this is disgusting, and then I'd read it, and I'd be like, that is the most heartwarming story of a billy goat fucking a can that I've ever read that is just how this woman works, and so one of her books is called Wall, so it's in Pennsylvania, so there's a lot of snow. They've had a, they're still married, but had a really tumultuous breakup four years before where he cheated on her. And normally that would be like a big go fuck yourself. But again there's, this woman's a witch, because she can write stuff that I should be like, contemporary, fuck you. Contemporary motorcycle club, fuck you. And instead I'm just like, no, I need every single book, please. And then when I'm done reading it, I'm gonna physically rub it on my gums, because I need all of the hit that I can get from it. But it's this incredibly sweet story where you find out that, you find out why Walt cheated, because he fucked up, and he owns that he fucked up. And there's a lot of trauma where they had three miscarriages and there was like, depression, like extreme depression because of it, but it's just this super sweet story of two people who never stopped loving each other, finding their way back to each other, but it's also great because there's never at any point, like, There's never Mona being like he cheated, but, I guess I understand she is so goddamn angry at him at the beginning of the book that she can barely say his name without spitting in rage. And it's just, it's really fucking good he finds ways to finagle his way back into her life. And they have a couple of just knock down, drag out I would call them screaming matches, except he stays very calm and doesn't scream back, whereas she screams and, dishes might get thrown, and, but it's just, it's the ending of it is just so fucking sweet and wholesome for, a motorcycle club, and, uh, again, just a really good, it's a fairly quick read too. I don't think it's long by her standards, but it doesn't at any point in time feel rushed. And it doesn't feel padded. I don't know what it is about Cate Z. Wells, but. If it turns out she's the Pied Piper, I believe her, and I will follow her into the mountain, and I'll see you guys on the other side. And then, my last recommendation, I don't remember who the author is, dammit, but it's called Abdominal Snow, Ab, let me try that again. Abdominal snowman, and it's about a guy, you might uh, it's a really f ing cute story where it's a girl, who I can't remember why, I think she's up there, so I want to say she's like a photographer for a magazine or something? Yes. And she goes

EJ:

up to Wooden House. Yes. I know this

Stacy:

one. Have you read it? Yes. Oh, it is cute. It's f ing adorable. Yes. It is so adorable. And she finds out he turns into a yeti. Yes. And she also hugs him as a yeti. Which I'm just like, fuck yeah you did, monster fucker. Yeah. And it's just this, I don't think it's specifically Christmas. I think it's just I think it's just like a town. It's a town that has a lot of snow. And so it sounds like every, maybe every month or every other weekend, there's some kind of a festival to bring tourists in during the cold season because it's so picturesque.

EJ:

Found it. Lana Cole and Zoey Abrams.

Stacy:

Perfect. But it there's a really adorable scene where there's a, they're at like a, it's like a snow market. So it's like a farmer's market, but in the snow and they're having hot chocolate and eating worm pastries while they're looking at artisanal crafts. You know what I mean? It is just it is just like homey as fuck, basically. Oh yeah. Yeah. Major Hallmark vibes. And again, she fucks him as a yeti, which I'm just like Fuck yeah you did. And the ending it has this really great where like he thinks he's hiding from the town but it turns out the town's known like the entire time that he was a yeti and has been protecting him the entire time because he can shift between human and then and yeti basically really fucking cute pretty quick read as I recall and I really identified with the heroine because she talks about how she was born in Florida and raised in Florida and she hates the heat and she sunburns easily. And I don't sunburn easily, but dear God, do I feel her on hating the heat.

EJ:

I think what I'm like I'm thinking of the proper way to like wrap things up because one thing that I know is like a, in combination, like every, about every day. Read that I enjoy regardless of genre when it comes to holidays or winter, there has to be some sort of sense of coziness. And I mean that in the most abstract way. Yes, like snowed in anytime you're snowed in, and you got like a little fire going boom that's cozy enough for me. We're good. We got the

Stacy:

start. Even if there's a

Amy:

killer

Stacy:

on the loose. Yeah, no, absolutely. I did really quick to wanna do my off topic recommendations. So I recommended Ghost Story. I also recommend The Shining. You can't get more. Creepy, wintery than that one. I also, there's a Hellboy short called, it's a Hellboy comic called Krampus Knocked. Oh. Or it's Hellboy vs. Krampus. Yeah, that's funny. Really good. And I want to say Alex Rost is the art. If it's not Alex Rost, it's somebody else who's a really well known comic book. In

Amy:

comic form, we have Krampus by Brian

Stacy:

Joines. Sure, that sounds awesome. And I

Amy:

honestly, it's because I actually love how they draw the Krampus. I find him hot in this.

Stacy:

I find Krampus hot.

Amy:

I put the link in the chat, but it's great because he's basically been freed from his imprisonment and tasked with the mission to rescue the stolen power of the secret society of Santa

Stacy:

Claus. Okay, that sounds pretty fucking cool. I'll have to check that out. I think you'd enjoy

Amy:

it. I wish it were on Kindle Unlimited. It is not. You can either borrow it via paperback, borrow, buy it via paperback or on Kindle, but yeah, It's a fun Christmas thing, but yeah, like I said, I really like how they draw him, and he's just so

EJ:

hilarious.

Stacy:

Okay, I'll have to check that out.

Amy:

I got to read it through I think it was, it's on our hoopla, and then Ty read it

Stacy:

and I'm like, ah, this is awesome. And then my last recommendation is The Nutcracker, the original, I think, what is it, EA Hoffman? Oh, yeah.

EJ:

E. T. A. Hoffman. Something

Stacy:

like that. There's a version of it that you can get that was the first time I was ever introduced to the Nutcracker was because somebody had gotten a copy of the book that I now have a copy of, but it was Maurice Sendak was hired to do set design for the Seattle Ballet Company. I think it technically it's like the Pacific Northwest Ballet Company or something like that. And they did the Maurice Sendak version until, I think, two years ago when they finally retired it. But it's really cool. So they did the original story of the first story of The Nutcracker. But it's compiled, and then all of the art that Maurice Sendak came up with for the ballet, and then illustrations that he did specifically for the story, are in it. And I remember being so fascinated with it, and I think that might have been, like, my first little tendril of monster fuckery. Because I thought the romance between Clara and the Nutcracker was the most just oh, it's so wonderful, even though her age gets real weird there in the middle where it's is she 11 or is she 18 and what's going on there? Who knows?

Amy:

I have to mention the one this is one special that I have been watching for quite a bit now, but it's the Gruffalo's Child.

Stacy:

Oh, interesting. There's a book called The Gruffalo, right? Yes, exactly.

Amy:

And it is about that Gruffalo and his daughter is in The Gruffalo's Child. Oh, interesting. The Gruffalo actually takes place, I think, in either spring or autumn or something like that. Whereas The Gruffalo's Child takes place in winter. And man, it has the wonderful atmosphere and, but also this spooky journey as, The Gruffalo's Child, who is much, she's a wee one, and she's going to try and find the big bad mouse that, of course, took on her dad, and it's so wonderful, and Helena Bonham Carter is the mother squirrel who narrates the story of the Gruffalo's Child, and guys it's perfect, it's a great family, or just, in general,

Stacy:

watch around this time of year. Where do you think we could find it? Because I've literally never even heard of this. I

Amy:

think it's available

Stacy:

on YouTube. Oh, okay, great. I'll look for it then.

EJ:

I will be subjecting my family, including my toddler, to holidays on ice. It's an essay collection by David Sedaris, for those who are like, holidays on us, what the hell? And it's just this collection of short stories and essays. Part of it is from David Sedaris experience being a Macy's elf for Santa during his broke

Stacy:

years.

EJ:

And there's also a lot of hilarious satirical stuff a Hollywood producer crashes a small white trash town to try to blackmail to try to bribe them to force a mother to sell the rights to her true story to this This producer, apparently like she had saved her child's life by through these absolutely ridiculous means and it's so disgusting but also really hilarious because he just goes over the top and that's where David Sedaris gets funny because he'll. Just take this really absurd gross stuff but makes it absolutely hilarious because he's a Sedaris and if you've also seen Amy Sedaris, his sister's stuff, I also associate her with like really over the top almost satirical stuff and her brother's writing is like such the same. Their family gatherings

Stacy:

must be Well didn't he write for Strangers in Candy?

EJ:

I can only imagine. I just because he's a prolific writer. But I like listening to the audio book version. Cause he's reading most of the stories. He does have some, like a couple of other celebrities. I know he gets his sister to read at least one story in there. And yeah, it was just funny. Oh. And there is like another one where one of their sisters essentially brought home a hooker. to their home. And and he describes it as a hooker for Christmas. Essentially, like she, she was in a domestic violence situation. And their sister brings her over to get a respite. And at first they think they're going to get in major trouble with their mom, who ends up being very cool about it. And I just really appreciate how David being this young teenager is trying to impress upon his mother, She's a hooker! And her response is we better get her a drink.

Stacy:

yEah, I would imagine if anybody needed one, it would be somebody that's new. And I'm not. I am not sneering at sex work in the slightest. No. Somebody who's maybe forced into it. It's not as much stress as it is. Especially if it's maybe somebody who's forced into it by circumstances. Yeah, it's for the love of fuck, pour her a drink.

EJ:

Oh yeah, she's definitely like a working poor class sort of woman. And it's actually, it's just, it's very funny and it's very sweet. The whole dang collection of holidays on AIS is great. If you're listening to this in December and you're trying to borrow it from your library and Libby,

Stacy:

I'm sorry, the wait is probably two months long right

EJ:

now. That's why I splurged and bought my own version from Right. Your own copy of it. But yeah, it's I think. It's absolutely lovely the utter diversity of books and I know we could continue on. And we shall this is why we have our own dang website and I, we can always post things on socials in fact actually on the socials I will almost certainly be soliciting our dear listeners. What are your favorite? Books monster romance, but also, we gave you a bunch of our non monster romance stuff. You let us know yours because I could always beef up my collection for sure. Heck yeah. Yeah. Like the old

Stacy:

saying goes, how many of those do you need one more than I have. Yeah.

EJ:

Help us all survive the holidays, y'all, and stay cozy this winter.

Stacy:

Yays. Happy holidays, y'all. Stay all snuggly happy, whatever the hell you do or don't celebrate. If you don't celebrate, eat something delicious, read something smutty.